An abusive relationship doesnt just start out of nowhere. There are always warning signs that show themselves in even the smallest of ways. Often times, the person in the relationship isnt able to see those little warnings. Often times, its the friends and family that notice the signs but arent quite sure how to convince the victim that something just isnt quite right. If they are brave enough to speak up and voice their opinion, they will most likely be greeted with resistance and hostility. When I first noticed that my friend was in an abusive relationship, months after the wedding, I spoke up. The moment that I opened my mouth and asked her about her marriage, she clammed up. A few days later, she lashed out at me, telling me that I had no right to interfere or say such horrible things about her relationship. She broke off our friendship. I didnt hear from her until two years later. She showed up on my doorstep one evening, a shell of what she had once been. She was crying hysterically and collapsed into my arms. The vibrant and strong friend that I had once had, was now a meek and lost individual.
She wanted a way out of her abusive relationship and with a lot of support and some drastic changes, her friends and family helped her to exit that marriage. Years later, the emotional scars remain. She will never be that person that she was before she was married. Her abusive husband ruined a huge part of her soul and her existence. Sure, counseling has helped but itll never restore the parts of her personality that now cease to exist.
Those little warning signs should never be ignored. Whether the warning signs are happening in your own relationship or you notice, at a distance, they are happening to a friend, they cannot be ignored. If you find yourself or notice a friend suddenly withdrawing from normal activities with anyone other than their partner, this could be a warning sign. A lot of abusive relationships will force the victim to pull away from their friends and their family. An abusive partner may make threats to not only the victim, but children, pets or other people in their lives. Sometimes, rude comments in a teasing manner are warning signs of an abusive relationship.
Often times, the abuser has a Jekyll and Hyde personality. The victim may seem to never quite know what mood the abuser will be in and will mold their moods or personalities around what the abuser is feeling that day. Being in an abusive relationship isnt fun in the least. It is not only dangerous physically, but emotionally as well. If you can assist someone in recognizing their own abusive relationship, proceed with facts, but caution. If you recognize that you are in an abusive relationship, do everything you can to exit safely and effectively. Seek the help of family, friends and professionals in order to be able to make a safe escape and start to rebuild your life.